Smart Guy: Ad Poetry


Another in the occasional series of Ad Poetry Fridays

I know you have two PhDs
and a Masters in Engineering
I have seen your diplomas
On the wall of your office
In the conference room
In the lobby
And for some reason I don’t quite understand
Posted over the mirror in the ladies’ room

But even you can’t know everything
No one can
You are not an expert
In glass blowing or golf
Lakota dances, medieval Japan
Abstract painting, romantic poets…
Or marketing and web design.
That’s why you called us

I tried to tell you, in meeting after meeting
Why our proposal cost what it did
I tried to explain how our services are different
From your internal resources:
Hank, in your warehouse, who knows HTML
And pictures you take with your cell phone
But you are the smart guy
And you chose Hank and your Droid

Now, fourteen months later, you’re upset
Your website is just bad photos
and some technical specs
After two weeks of programming,
Hank made your logo spin
Yet no one noticed your product launch
No one stopped by your trade show booth
No one responded to your email offer

Your competition devoured your market share
Your father-in-law wants his investment back
And you want me to fix it
I would love to assist
I feel your pain
But I think you need to learn a few more skills
Before I am smart enough to help you


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